Showing posts with label action. Show all posts
Showing posts with label action. Show all posts

Monday, June 16, 2014

019. Street Harassment

Street Harassment
By: Ashley Solis

Walking with my nieces and dog.
Street Harassment. It's a real thing. It happens to me. Every. Single. Day.

Stop Street Harassment defines street harassment as:

"Unwelcome words and actions by unknown persons in public places which are motivated by gender and invade a person’s physical and emotional space in a disrespectful, creepy, startling, scary, or insulting way."

Yup, every single day. Helen, Marina, and I go on a 30 minute walk every day during our break. We walk about one and a half miles, and it has been a great way to get away from the computer screen, get some sunshine, and practice self care. 

Lately, I feel more anxious on our walks. Each time we go on a walk a range of things happens...a honk from a guy as he drives by, a guy yells something at us from a vehicle (sometimes derogatory, sometimes not), men make kissing noises at us as we pass them on the sidewalk, men tell us to smile or comment on our appearances. Now, I do not mind if I am walking and someone says a polite hello or a smile. I will respond. I do not respond when someone yells at me or honks at me or tells me to "smile!"

According to Tiffanie Heben, she defines three categories of street harassment. 

      1. Severe: a) sexually explicit reference to a woman’s body or to sexual activities, b) profanities that are directed at a woman because of her gender, c) any comment that fits into these categories combined with racial or ethnic slurs, d) any comment that fits any of these three categories combined with references to a woman’s possible homosexuality, e) physical acts such as following a woman, throwing things at her, or pinching or poking her.

     2. Moderately severe: a) sexual innuendos, b) references to a woman’s gender or body that are not sexually explicit.

     3. Least severe: a) staring, b) whistling, c) all other comments men make to women that are unnecessary or are not political in nature.

There was a instance a few months ago when Helen and I were walking through downtown Pomona (and don't blame this on Pomona, it happens to me everywhere). There were two men standing outside of a restaurant. One man asked us if we had a cigarette. We responded politely and informed him that we do not smoke and kept on with our walk, never breaking stride. I thought that would be the end of it, but no. He then caught up to us and told us to wait and wanted to talk to us. 

Everything about our body language felt as if it was pretty clear that we weren't interested in a conversation. He asked what our names were , and we responded that we were on our break and needed to get back to work. He then reached towards me with his hand attempting to shake it. I pulled away and said no thank you. He is a stranger. A man that I do not know. I did not want to shake his hand nor do I have to.

That's when he lost it. As we continued to walk away, he yelled bitch at us and said that I was racist. My adrenaline started pumping, and I felt so scared. I didn't know what he would do. I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't following us. Helen reminded me to just breathe, and we kept walking. It wasn't until we were back at the office that I felt safe.

I am allowed to set physical and emotional boundaries. I should be able to do so without being called a bitch or a racist. Unfortunately, we live within a patriarchal society in which there are men (not all men) that feel entitled to comment on women's bodies, honk at them, yell at them, call them names, etc. while they are in a public space. It's out of control and needs to stop. I know that these incidents are based on my gender because if I am on a walk with my partner or another male, I have NEVER been harassed. Never. It is startling when you are in a public space and someone screams at you as they drive by. Also, it's freaking annoying! Just let me walk in peace.

I know some think that when a man honks or whistles at you, that it is meant to be a compliment. It is not a compliment. To argue this point, author Jessica Valenti says it perfectly:

     “While I’ve heard the argument that street harassment is actually a compliment – you know, because we’re supposed to be flattered that strange men are screaming at us about our asses – it’s really a super-insidious form of sexism. Because not only do perfect strangers think that it’s appropriate to be sexual toward any woman they want, but street harassment is also predicated on the idea that you’re allowed to say anything to women that you want – anytime, anywhere.”

Street harassment is a real thing and you can take action against it. Here is a list of amazing organizations taking action to stop street harassment.  One well known group is Hollaback!  This organization states,

     "The real motive of street harassment is intimidation. To make its target scared or uncomfortable, and to make the harasser feel powerful. But what if there was a simple way to take that power away by exposing it? You can now use your smartphone to do just that by documenting, mapping, and sharing incidents of street harassment. Join an entire community ready to Hollaback!"

I will continue to walk, while hoping that I can do so in peace. 

What are some ways that you can (or do) challenge street harassment?



Thursday, April 18, 2013

015. Take Action



Take Action



  This photo has nothing to do with this article, but I love it.


I have a phone interview tomorrow for an internship at an amazing online magazine/organization.

I found out about this internship about a month ago. A day prior to finding it, I was thinking about writing for an online magazine/forum. I want to focus on all the "isms" and injustices in the world, while focusing on the positive and providing real-life suggestions for change. My vision is pretty clear based on the content and name of this blog.
Anyway, when I came home from work that night and logged onto Facebook, the first post was for an internship position. Granted, it's not writing BUT it's a foot in the door to an amazing website that I truly feel connected with. When I read their "about" page, it seemed as though they took the words out of my brain and put them on the screen. So, I started writing the cover letter and polishing up my resume. I even invited my sister over to help contribute/proof read and give me feedback. Guess what I did next? I didn't submit my application for almost 4 weeks. "Why?" you may ask. The answer is simple and complex; I allowed the inner voice of self-doubt to creep into my little head and talk me out of hitting send. What if the founder doesn't like my answers to the questions she asked for the cover letter? What if I'm not qualified enough? The questions continued and I didn't proceed. More and more self doubt overcame me. The self-doubt then created an underlying current of anxiousness. I ignored my anxiousness and did nothing.
Fast forward to this past Sunday night. I was watching the series, "Bomb Girls" on Netflix and I suddenly felt the urge to take some action. I grabbed my laptop, quickly read over my cover letter and resume and finally hit send. I felt relieved. My anxiousness subsided. I then went to bed and awaited a response.
The next morning I received an email from the founder of the organization. She wanted to set up a phone interview with me. It sounds cheesy but I literally became teary-eyed. I was teary-eyed because this was the universe's way of gently reminding me that "I am enough." Ah!

Okay, so this leads to this weeks small change. It's simple. Take action. Take action with something that scares you. If you are self-doubting, gently acknowledge those thoughts and put them away in a large figurative trunk. Then, take action.This almost always cures whatever issue I am dealing with. There are times when I am so stuck in my stuff, that I forget the simple answer to help get me out of my funk. Action.
-Ashley