019. Street Harassment

Street Harassment

By: Ashley Solis

Walking with my nieces and dog.

Street Harassment. It's a real thing. It happens to me. Every. Single. Day.

Stop Street Harassment defines street harassment as:

"Unwelcome words and actions by unknown persons in public places which are motivated by gender and invade a person’s physical and emotional space in a disrespectful, creepy, startling, scary, or insulting way."

Yup, every single day. Helen, Marina, and I go on a 30 minute walk every day during our break. We walk about one and a half miles, and it has been a great way to get away from the computer screen, get some sunshine, and practice self care. 

Lately, I feel more anxious on our walks. Each time we go on a walk a range of things happens...a honk from a guy as he drives by, a guy yells something at us from a vehicle (sometimes derogatory, sometimes not), men make kissing noises at us as we pass them on the sidewalk, men tell us to smile or comment on our appearances. Now, I do not mind if I am walking and someone says a polite hello or a smile. I will respond. I do not respond when someone yells at me or honks at me or tells me to "smile!"

According to Tiffanie Heben, she defines three categories of street harassment. 

      1. Severe: a) sexually explicit reference to a woman’s body or to sexual activities, b) profanities that are directed at a woman because of her gender, c) any comment that fits into these categories combined with racial or ethnic slurs, d) any comment that fits any of these three categories combined with references to a woman’s possible homosexuality, e) physical acts such as following a woman, throwing things at her, or pinching or poking her.

     2. Moderately severe: a) sexual innuendos, b) references to a woman’s gender or body that are not sexually explicit.

     3. Least severe: a) staring, b) whistling, c) all other comments men make to women that are unnecessary or are not political in nature.

There was a instance a few months ago when Helen and I were walking through downtown Pomona (and don't blame this on Pomona, it happens to me everywhere). There were two men standing outside of a restaurant. One man asked us if we had a cigarette. We responded politely and informed him that we do not smoke and kept on with our walk, never breaking stride. I thought that would be the end of it, but no. He then caught up to us and told us to wait and wanted to talk to us. 

Everything about our body language felt as if it was pretty clear that we weren't interested in a conversation. He asked what our names were , and we responded that we were on our break and needed to get back to work. He then reached towards me with his hand attempting to shake it. I pulled away and said no thank you. He is a stranger. A man that I do not know. I did not want to shake his hand nor do I have to.

That's when he lost it. As we continued to walk away, he yelled bitch at us and said that I was racist. My adrenaline started pumping, and I felt so scared. I didn't know what he would do. I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't following us. Helen reminded me to just breathe, and we kept walking. It wasn't until we were back at the office that I felt safe.

I am allowed to set physical and emotional boundaries. I should be able to do so without being called a bitch or a racist. Unfortunately, we live within a patriarchal society in which there are men (not all men) that feel entitled to comment on women's bodies, honk at them, yell at them, call them names, etc. while they are in a public space. It's out of control and needs to stop. I know that these incidents are based on my gender because if I am on a walk with my partner or another male, I have NEVER been harassed. Never. It is startling when you are in a public space and someone screams at you as they drive by. Also, it's freaking annoying! Just let me walk in peace.

I know some think that when a man honks or whistles at you, that it is meant to be a compliment. It is not a compliment. To argue this point, author Jessica Valenti says it perfectly:

     “While I’ve heard the argument that street harassment is actually a compliment – you know, because we’re supposed to be flattered that strange men are screaming at us about our asses – it’s really a super-insidious form of sexism. Because not only do perfect strangers think that it’s appropriate to be sexual toward any woman they want, but street harassment is also predicated on the idea that you’re allowed to say anything to women that you want – anytime, anywhere.”

Street harassment is a real thing and you can take action against it. Here is a list of amazing organizations taking action to stop street harassment.  One well known group is Hollaback!  This organization states,

     "The real motive of street harassment is intimidation. To make its target scared or uncomfortable, and to make the harasser feel powerful. But what if there was a simple way to take that power away by exposing it? You can now use your smartphone to do just that by documenting, mapping, and sharing incidents of street harassment. Join an entire community ready to Hollaback!"

I will continue to walk, while hoping that I can do so in peace. 

What are some ways that you can (or do) challenge street harassment?

018. Who Needs Cable?

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Cable Television Can Be Bad For Your Psyche

Change Weekly is dedicated to resisting messages that are damaging to our minds, bodies and spirits. These ideals are fed to us through the media; billboards, newspapers, magazines, television, websites and any other space that advertisements swallow our community. Two messages have stood out that are told to us by modern day media; we are not enough and we should live in fear.

We think it is safe to say that many of us have thought, "I am not enough." One of the ways that message is kept alive is through the media. For instance, the narrow definition of what an attractive individual is supposed to look like damages our positive body image. One week we suggested a change to Challenge the Image of Beauty. If you feel like shit about yourself, you are more likely to consume more beauty products, alcohol, clothing, food, etc.

Another message that we receive largely through the news is that we should live in fear. There are a handful of multi-billion dollar corporations, such as CBS Corporation and News Corp., that are known to donate large sums of money to politicians and political campaigns that you may or may not agree with. Regardless of what you believe, what ends up being brodcasted to the general public is biased news. This biased stories are shared with the masses and usually promote an agenda of self-interest.

This is what Jamie Solis had to say about her personal choice to get rid of cable,

Over five years ago, when I first moved out from my parent’s house, I couldn’t afford cable if I wanted to. I was working 40 hours a week, going to school full time and responsible for about $650 in rent for my studio apartment . . . among numerous other bills. I’ve always been really active about political and social issues, and I have always aimed to empower myself against the pressures from outside influence. This is when I decided that I would no longer allow the media and government to instill fear in me.

Do an experiment for me if you will. Turn on the television to any news channel 2-13. Time how long it takes before there’s news coverage on terrorism, murders, an impending epidemic or something else that invokes fear into the viewer. Fear to go outside, fear to mistrust other countries, fear of your neighbor, etc. Using fear as a control tactic is nothing new, but I don’t remember experiencing this until the unfortunate 9/11 terrorist attack. From the time I was 12 until I gave up cable when I was 19, I was constantly bombarded with messages from the media that I wasn’t safe and/or I wasn’t pretty enough. My life is much richer now and my self confidence has actually improved since forgoing television. While I still see advertisements in print media and on billboards, it's not something that I willingly allow into my house every night for hours on end. Make the change, save some money and tell profit driven institutions to get out of your head!

The media uses television as a catalyst to express the "you're not enough" and "live in fear" messages. We are dedicated to finding alternative news sources that are not owned by the handful of multi-billion dollar corporations that have special interests in mind.

All of this brings us to the change for this week—get rid of your cable. Oh the horror! We know, we know . . . this seems like a drastic change. In reality, it could be a lot easier than you think. Did you know that the average amount of time spent watching TV is about five hours per day? By getting rid of cable, you’ll find more time to write, clean, spend time outside, exercise, read, do homework and do everything else you could be doing instead of wasting away in front of the television.  Imagine the amount of negative messages we receive in a three minute commercial break.

We are aware that even if you cut out cable, you will still be inundated with negative messages from other outlets. Resist at least one form of media and think for yourself.

017. Self Care and Compassion

 You must connect with yourself.

Do you ever feel that you get swept up by your whirlwind life? It may feel overwhelming to accomplish the daily tasks of paying bills, attending school, meeting deadlines, spending time with your partner, friends and/or kids, completing chores and going to work. It isn't a surprise that many fail to take time for themselves. Also, it shouldn't be a surprise that there are times that we feel like to just want to get away or feel agitated by those same daily tasks. Our mom always says, "If it's everyone else, it's probably you." Meaning, if others in your life or things that you do daily, suddenly start to annoy you, then it's time to take time for yourself.

"If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself." ~Barbara De Angelis 

We would like to introduce self-care. Taking time for yourself is essential in life. Self-care can be anything that you do for you. It can range from taking a bubble bath, listening to music or exercising. Our jobs can cause us to feel overwhelmed. For instance, if you work at a job dealing with others' trauma it can feel like too much at times. Ashley Solis says:

Self-care. Prior to working at the Domestic Violence Shelter, I had never heard this term. I mean, I understood what it meant to take time for myself and to do things that I enjoyed. What I didn't understand was how draining it could be to work directly with clients who have experienced trauma and now need a lot of guidance and compassion.

Self compassion must happen first in order to be compassionate with others.

I was working with a client who was having a hard time practicing self-care. My boss suggested that the client schedule 3 self-care activities each day. I then asked if that's a general suggestion for all individuals. I responded, "Well, I guess I should make that my new goal."

Self-care is essential to living a happy and stable life. It is important to fulfill your personal need for relaxation and self love. It is necessary to perform activities for yourself and sometimes by yourself. While many of us are blessed with loving people in our lives, it is important we take care of ourselves first and foremost.

In true Change Weekly style, we want to propose some of our favorite self-care tips.

Get to steppin’ 

Walk alone, walk with a friend, walk your dogs, walk your neighbor’s dogs . . . whatever it takes to get you to open your front door and go explore the neighborhood. Breathe in some of that cool fresh air and chances are you’ll end up rediscovering the streets you’ve lived on for years. "The British Journal of Sports Medicine found that walking 30 minutes a day boosted the moods in depressed patients faster than antidepressants. Why? Walking releases natural pain­killing end­or­phins to the body – one of the emotional benefits of exercise." Take 30 minutes to take a nice walk starting today and discover the small, beautiful details of the streets you drive on daily.

Suds Up

There are few things in this world that feel more satisfying than a warm, bubble bath. Don't be afraid to go all the way and spoil yourself . . . candlelight ambiance, fresh crushed sage in the water, relaxing music, a glass of wine and maybe even a loofah. Whatever it looks like to you, make it happen and pamper yourself. If you're sore from your workout, add in some Epson Salt and it'll help alleviate your sore muscles. You're welcome.

Talk it Up and Get it Out 

The two of us that contribute to this blog and we do a lot of talking. If something rocky is happening in our relationship or we just need to vent, we know we can talk it out to each other. The telephone conversations always start with "I need to vent . . ." because one of us is overwhelmed. By the end of our discussion (which is usually one person going on and on about their feelings), both of us feel more grounded and level-headed than before we got on the phone.

Yoga and Meditation

Either of these practices are a great way to center yourself. Yoga is a great form of exercise and a helps to be present in the moment. Meditation helps us clear our minds and stay calm. Our favorite, local studio is Green Tara.

These are only a few of the ways to decompress and take care of yourself. What are your favorites? We challenge you to start by performing at least one activity a day, and hopefully over time you will be able to perform at least three, or more! 

016. Dangerous Crop

Just Say "No" to GMO's and Pesticides

Is it too late to change our unsafe ways?

Why are we just starting to discover the benefits of eating organic and GMO-free foods? Most of us have heard to term GMO at least once. Let's start by explaining what a GMO or a genetically modified organism is. It is exactly what it sounds like, an organism or microorganism whose genetic material has been altered by means of genetic engineering. You may ask, what's the big deal? Well, thanks for asking. Let us explain. 

The reason we're concerned with the consumption of GMO foods is because it is dangerous on many levels. Contrary to popular belief, a crop that is genetically modified does not imply that it is free from pesticides. Rather, there is often an increase in the amount of pesticides, herbicides and fungicides that are used on the crop. These are the poisons found on and in our food. Next, by messing with the genetic code of a food item, you're doing just that, altering the crop from it's natural state. I think it's safe to say, regardless of what you believe, that Nature/God/Evolution/Universe got it right in the first place. According to Organic Authority:

Genetic engineering reduces genetic diversity. When genes are more diverse, they are more robust; this is why a pure bred dog tends to have greater health problems than the dear old mutt. Plants with reduced genetic diversity cannot handle drought, fungus invasions or insects nearly as well as natural plants, which could have dire consequences for farmers and communities dependent on GMO crops for survival.
 
The cultivation of genetically modified plant and animal organisms have been banned in numerous countries. It has only been in the last couple years that laws are being presented pushing for labeling of genetically modified food in the U.S. Why is this happening so late? It couldn't have stumped scientists for so long. In reality, they are the ones who have made the transition into these dangerous practices that negatively effect our crops possible, even though there is no evidence that GMO foods are safe to eat.

Why are GMOs and pesticides so prevalent in our society despite the dangers? We have one dirty word for you, Monsanto. At the very least, Monsanto gives us the creeps. This organization hides behind the front of "A Sustainable Agriculture Company." In reality, through biotechnology and harsh chemicals, Monsanto turns to dangerous efforts in order to make an enormous profit. 

Being a farmer is difficult; you have to fight against harsh seasons, bugs, pests, droughts and much more. In order to make farmers' jobs a little easier while obtaining a much higher yield of fruits and veggies, farmers allow our food supply to be rained on by harsh chemicals as well as allowing the genetic makeup of our food to be tampered with. While this may seem like a good thing, the negative side effects to both of these practices are still kept under-wraps.

This brings us to our change for this week. We would like for you to educate yourself and at least one other person on the dangerous effects behind genetically modified foods. The Institute for Responsible Technology published a fascinating article that we encourage you to read. 

Going beyond educating yourself, we suggest taking action this week. Places to buy non-GMO seeds are few and far between. Go to www.survivalseedbank.com and order at least one pack of seeds. Plant them in your garden. Don't have a garden? Then go out and purchase a pot, a little bit of soil and some non-GMO seeds. With a little effort and lots of sun and water, pretty soon you'll be on your way to saying "Up Yours Monsanto!"

The picture featured in this blog is our personal "neighbor garden." We used seeds that are largely non-GMO and organic. Thanks to Nik and Nicole for hosting this beautiful garden.

015. Take Action

Take Action



  This photo has nothing to do with this article, but I love it.

I have a phone interview tomorrow for an internship at an amazing online magazine/organization.

I found out about this internship about a month ago. A day prior to finding it, I was thinking about writing for an online magazine/forum. I want to focus on all the "isms" and injustices in the world, while focusing on the positive and providing real-life suggestions for change. My vision is pretty clear based on the content and name of this blog.
Anyway, when I came home from work that night and logged onto Facebook, the first post was for an internship position. Granted, it's not writing BUT it's a foot in the door to an amazing website that I truly feel connected with. When I read their "about" page, it seemed as though they took the words out of my brain and put them on the screen. So, I started writing the cover letter and polishing up my resume. I even invited my sister over to help contribute/proof read and give me feedback. Guess what I did next? I didn't submit my application for almost 4 weeks. "Why?" you may ask. The answer is simple and complex; I allowed the inner voice of self-doubt to creep into my little head and talk me out of hitting send. What if the founder doesn't like my answers to the questions she asked for the cover letter? What if I'm not qualified enough? The questions continued and I didn't proceed. More and more self doubt overcame me. The self-doubt then created an underlying current of anxiousness. I ignored my anxiousness and did nothing.
Fast forward to this past Sunday night. I was watching the series, "Bomb Girls" on Netflix and I suddenly felt the urge to take some action. I grabbed my laptop, quickly read over my cover letter and resume and finally hit send. I felt relieved. My anxiousness subsided. I then went to bed and awaited a response.
The next morning I received an email from the founder of the organization. She wanted to set up a phone interview with me. It sounds cheesy but I literally became teary-eyed. I was teary-eyed because this was the universe's way of gently reminding me that "I am enough." Ah!

Okay, so this leads to this weeks small change. It's simple. Take action. Take action with something that scares you. If you are self-doubting, gently acknowledge those thoughts and put them away in a large figurative trunk. Then, take action.This almost always cures whatever issue I am dealing with. There are times when I am so stuck in my stuff, that I forget the simple answer to help get me out of my funk. Action.
-Ashley

014. Simplify Your Life. Do What You Love.

 

These two and I have recently become best friends. 

Written By: Ashley Solis 

About two months ago, I came across an inspiring article about living more simply. As soon as I finished this article, I wrote down on a blue post-it what I wanted my life to look like. This list included writing full-time, traveling, teaching classes, more yoga and other things that I find valuable. I felt calm, focused and more clear on my intentions for my life. 

A month later, I signed up for a writing class with Tammy Strobel, the same author whom wrote a book about simplifying her life and whom the above article is about. I have always enjoyed writing. Ever since graduating college, almost 2 years ago, I have done less and less writing. I needed to find a way to inspire my creativity. My sister and I have been contributing to this blog as a way to keep up with our love of writing. But at times I find that I have to force myself to write more. I tend to get distracted by Facebook,  Instagram, shows I have recorded, my extremely stressful job, and life in general.

I kept referring back to that article about living simply. One question that stuck out to me was, what do I "want" and what do I "need." Some may wonder, what's the difference? We all have the same basic needs, food, water, shelter, human connection and so-on. I thought, "What is one thing I could live without and also save money while doing so?" The answer was simple, cable. I do not need cable. I work for a non-profit and have noticed that money has been tighter than I am used to. Also, cable was becoming more and more of a distraction for me. I was not doing all of the things I wanted to. Instead of writing, I was getting sucked into watching marathons of "48 Hours Mystery."

On Wednesday, I cancelled my cable subscription. After being on hold for 15 minutes, a representative answered the phone. I told her I would like to cancel our cable. She asked with her scripted, "Is there something wrong with your cable connection or have you had any issues with the service?" I chose to give her the reason why, "No, it works fine. We decided that we want to save money and would like to spend our free time not watching TV." Her answer surprised me. She said, "My husband and I recently got rid of cable. We realized we were spending too much time watching TV. Now we read more, listen to music and even talk to each other, what a concept!" It was refreshing to hear her response. She's a salesperson, but a person first. We talked for about 10 minutes and she made the process simple and painless. It has been a few days and I do not miss it at all. I thought I was going to have some serious withdrawals. In reality, I have been writing more and focusing on that blue post-it. I am back on track.

This week's change, what is one thing that you do not need and can get rid of? What is your reason behind it? Is it wasteful? Saving money? Bettering yourself? Lifestyle change?

013. Water Wars

And Thank You
Written By: Jamie Solis

It's the year 2024 and you were lucky enough to survive the apocalypse predicted by the Ancient Mayans. Before feeling relieved, notice a more evident end-all-be-all situation on the rise. Record breaking heat has forced 14 countries to declare emergency droughts because they are utterly helpless. The changes in weather along with over-consumption of the world's fresh water (by previous and current generations), are to blame for this imagined future catastrophe.

If the viability of the earth in years to come does not worry you, wake up! Water is the quintessential resource which sustains human life on this planet. The composition of our bodies, as well as that of the plants and animals we eat, is mostly H20.

Our simple suggestion for the week to encourage your positive action...find ways to conserve water at work, at home and in the community. Shortening your showers can save water on a daily basis, assuming you shower regularly of course. When cooking dinner, try to cut down the amount of dishes you use. Planning your meal using one pan for multiple items, you will be making a difference. By not using more than what is truly necessary, it leads to less cleaning for you and more water for life. At work, encourage management to adopt water conserving practices.

Adopting our small suggestions will include you in making a difference. Please share some ideas with us on how to conserve water.

Be sure to check our facebook this week to see a great water saving video which can help you save water at home, work or wherever you have influence.